Finding a Wife

Every godly man prays for a godly wife. But what should a single man, passionate about following Jesus Christ, look for in a wife? Today the culture is sending all the wrong signals and it will take a focused, Word-based intentionality to look through the glitz and glamour to find a woman whose heart is fully devoted to Christ, and ready to be the "helper suited" to a godly husband.

Here are a few suggestions for you guys that are looking to marry well:

1. Understand how God views marriage and what he calls you to, as a husband: Too many men enter marriage before they have developed the humility and self-sacrificing attitude God demands. Paul's command to "love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" sums it up: Unless you're willing to give yourself up to provide the leadership and refuge a wife needs, don't bother applying. Don't settle for being "less man" than God needs you to be in your marriage. 

2. Protect the purity and integrity of your marriage by staying faithful to your wife even before your wedding day: Sexual purity is not a thing of the past in God's eyes. If you desire to be a spiritual leader after the wedding, then prove it by leading your life, and that of every woman you date, down the paths of righteousness. One of the worst things you can do to your future wife is prove to her that you'll have sex with someone you're not married to her. Stay pure, avoid the regret, and feel the pleasure of God.

3. Find a woman who loves Christ first and foremost, and has a life record to back it up: Does she evidence a knowledge of the Word, the willingness to obey what it says, and the courage to stand up when mocked for so doing? Is her faith her own, strengthened over time by good teaching, mutual discipleship, and a love for the church? Don't settle for a shallow believer, or luke-warm Christ-follower; find a genuine disciple.

4. Choose a woman who has some life experience of her own, and has demonstrated the ability to deal with hardship and disappointment as well as success: This is just another way of saying "look for maturity". With adolescence ranging all the way to age 30  today it is foolish not to insist that your spouse show some seasoning, and the emotional and spiritual maturity it will take to handle the ups and downs of married life. Don't settle for a little girl; find a woman of God.

5. Find a woman with a generous heart:  A pretty face is great, but a beautiful heart is a treasure. Look for a girl that naturally lives beyond herself, sees the best in others, and loves reaching out to help those around her. 

6. Choose a wife whose temperament and spiritual giftedness will complement your strengths and compensate for your weaknesses: One great purpose in marriage is to be better together than either of you can be alone. God created Eve to be a helper that completed Adam. That means you'll probably be best with someone that has some different strengths than you do. Don't settle for a companion; be sure she will also be a great partner as you journey together down the path of life.