Dad, help you daughter avoid letting sensuality become her identity.
We are losing our daughters to a cultural identity that prizes sensuality. Their heroes are the singers and actresses whose provocative actions shapes the headlines. These same women are proud of their unwed pregnancies, their daring body-exploiting fashions, and their ungodly ideologies. And our daughters are being herded by peer pressure into a cultural coral where modesty, virtue, and most of all, Christ-honoring choices are mocked as old-fashioned and stifling.
In today's news there's a report of the ladies on The Talk discussing the issue of famous women reveling in unwed pregnancies. Jessica Simpson, Eva Mendes, Scarlett Johansson and a host of other stars have furthered this trend. Their thinking? Marriages end, but the love of a child lasts forever! How misguided and dangerous. Yet, the vast majority of the emerging generation applauds these women who are now championed as "strong, independent, and able to raise children on their own!" Help!
Dads, your daughters need you to ride in and save them from the dangers of trusting a culture that dupes girls into thinking their identity is wrapped up in their sensuality, and their worth is found in their sex appeal. Don't let Jessica, Eva, Jennifer, Scarlett, Kim, and Khloe define success and satisfaction for you daughters.
Dad, your daughters need you!
Here are some ways to help your daughters:
1. Love your daughters openly and consistently: Daughters need your love, your hugs, your compliments, your laughter, your companionship, and your wisdom. You are the most powerful man in their lives. You set the standard the man they will choose to marry.
And remember, a daughter who doesn't get what she needs from her father will be susceptible to any man willing to give it to her. Protect your daughters from the wrong men by being God's man in her life.
2. Persist in teaching them their identity begins, not with body image, but in being created in the image of God: Begin early to shape your daughters' understanding of themselves. Teach them they were created by God as unique creatures to represent him. They are already special, and need not become what the culture applauds in order to find meaning and purpose in life.
3. Teach and model the Gospel before them, and plead with God to save their souls: Nothing will satisfy your daughters like the love of God in Christ. And nothing can shape their character, strengthen their confidence, and protect them from the inherent dangers of this world like a relationship with Jesus built on sincere trust in the promises of God.
4. Teach them to dress in a way that draws attention to their eyes and joyful smile, rather than their body: This is the great battle field today. Already in elementary school girls are dressing to show off their bodies. Underwear becomes outerwear. Low, tight, and high become the definitions of fashion. Cleavage is now an accessory, and style has become synonymous with daring. She who shows the most skin wins.
There are many problems associated with this torrent of immodesty. But my primary point here is our daughters are being manipulated by culture into defining themselves as objects of desire rather than women of strong character. I am all for cute, pretty, stylish, and "in" as long as it is also good, modest, and appropriate.
Our culture wants to dictate to our daughters. But, if our daughters become addicted to what others think of them as the fundamental element of their self-worth, they will always be at the mercy of fickle societal preferences. They will always be chasing the cultural ideal and end up without any sense of personal identity. Dads, your daughters need you to rescue them from this, and you're in the best place to do it.
Don't let your daughters buy and wear clothing that is inappropriate. Cleavage isn't necessary or appropriate. Fashions that promote sensuality aren't appropriate. Don't let culture set the standard for your daughters. Love them enough to set, and hold to, standards that will most encourage your daughters to be women of strong character whose identity is not dependent on the next issue of Vogue.
4. Instill in them the honor of saving their bodies for the man God will bring to complete them in marriage: Sensuality is the wrong way for women to test if they are attractive to men. Teach your daughters to understand the best men will be attracted to what is best in them, their virtue, their character, and their true beauty.
. Be vigilant in putting before them women of God whose lives are good models of biblical womanhood: Our culture is a pseudohero-producing factory. The film and music industries exist to put their stars in front of your daughters as those to be applauded, praised, and imitated. Meet the challenge and keep godly models before your girls. Study the women of the Bible with them - both good and bad - as you teach your daughters what it means to live to please God.
6. Love their mother openly, consistently, joyfully: Your evident love for your wife will instill in your girls the truth that real love starts in the heart and not the sensuality of the body. Of course, love your wife's kisses and hugs, and make sure your kids know how attracted you are to her! But also make sure they know the thing you love most, and the thing that will persist through old age is the deep emotional friendship and strong spiritual relationship you have with your wife.
7. Pray as though your daughters' lives depend fully on the grace and mercy of God: Nothing will keep you focused on raising godly daughters like prayer. It will also be a constant reminder that God's power in your daughters' lives is the most important element. All your parenting will be of no value unless God works his ways in them. Prayer is a father's humble declaration of dependence upon the truth and love of God in raising his children.
8. Capture the moments knowing your daughters will one day grow up, marry godly men, and no longer be under your care: When your kids are still at home, it seems you can't get away from them. But soon the day will come when they fly off as adults, and you'll have to make an appointment to see them!
Enjoy the now, and take every advantage of the time you have to shape their lives biblically, love them openly, and walk their path with them patiently. You only have a little time, and it is much easier to build a daughter than correct a woman.
So, Dads, we need you! The church needs you to raise godly women. Don't knuckle under cultural pressure, and teach your daughters how to walk worthy of Christ. Be their champion. Set godly standards and lovingly enforce them in your home. Yes, they might balk, and cry, and call you a monster. In time they will thank you, and so will their husbands.
Dads, we're counting on you. Don't miss this chance to build godly women.